Harry Potter and the Movie
by Mrs Grim
Summary: *P* Harry Potter and friends watch the Harry Potter movie...
1. Default Chapter

You really will NOT get this unless you have seen the Harry Potter movie. This contains spoilers for it so please do not give me nasty reviews saying that I ruined it for you. Thank you.  
  
  
**Harry Potter and the Movie  
By Liz  
  
**  
"No way!"   
  
"How?…"  
  
"Yeah! We get to see it!!!"  
  
Professor McGonagall raised a hand to silence them, "Yes, yes, we have here a copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's (or Philosopher's) Stone. We will watch it today at 1:00."  
  
"Woohooo!!" Ron yelled, "That's during Potions!!"  
  
Snape scowled and muttered to himself, "Damn! No time to torture Gryffindors."   
  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
"What's that?!?!?" Ron asked loudly, "That isn't that movie!"  
  
Everyone shushes him.  
  
"It's a trailor, Ron! Now shut up," Hermione hissed.  
  
The movie started. Professor McGonagall stiffened, "I don't look like-like that!" she whispered, "Do I, Albus?"  
  
"You don't look like that if I don't look like that!"   
  
The school giggled at McGonagall's wrinkles.  
  
"Hehe!" Draco snickered, "Old Dumbledore looks like he's going to keel over and die!"  
  
Crabbe and Goyle laughed stupidly.  
  
"They didn't even mention that that was MY motercycle!" hissed Sirius disgustedly.  
  
Sirius? Sirius!  
  
"What are you doing here?" Hermione demanded.  
  
"SHHHHH!!!!"  
  
The movie continues…  
  
"Awww…" Harry whined, "I wanted to see Uncle Vernon pull out his mustache! Man!"  
  
Pansy Parkinson was having the time of her life, "Harry doesn't look at all right!" she told Draco sullenly, "He acts as if he has half a brain!"  
  
Hermione scowled at them.  
  
Draco stared at the screen in horror as Harry was in the wand shop. He was indignant, "WHERE AM I???? WHERE IN THE BLOODY HELL AM I??? Harry didn't even GO to the robes shop! You cheap bastards! Cutting ME out??!!" He continued in this vein for some time much to the Gryffindors' delight.  
  
"Wait?" Harry was confused, "Why is Hagrid taking me to the platform? I thought I went home first… Ack, never mind that I like this better. Who wants to see the Dursley's anyways?"  
  
Silence for a while…  
  
"NOOOO!!! CUT AGAIN!!! Just who do those movie big-shots think that they are???"  
  
"Movie big-shots?" George offered.  
  
Draco ignored him, "Where am I??? I'm not on the train!!! What crap is this???"  
  
Hermione looked smug, "I'M perfect."  
  
Ron snorted, "Look how pale I am! Yuck!" He grumbles to himself.  
  
~*~  
  
"Ooooh!" Everyone stares at Hogwarts.   
  
"It looks lovely, doesn't it?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Am I really that wrinkly?" Professor McGonagall whispered to the other teachers.  
  
"Of course not."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yep."  
  
Professor McGonagall looked shocked.  
  
Snape snickered.  
  
There was a wail from above them. Peeves had burst into tears.  
  
"Noooo!!! Noooo!!! I- I'm not t-there!!!" In his rage he begins to hurl gigantic water balloons on the students. It takes some time to apprehend him. It is now the sorting ceremony.  
  
"'Granger, Hermione,'" can be heard on the large screen.  
  
"Wait a second!!!"  
  
"Why is a G before a B?"  
  
"Why didn't the hat sing?"  
  
"Why is the hat talking so everyone can hear it?"  
  
"This is all wrong!"  
  
"Malfoy, next???" Susan Bones wailed, "I'm supposed to be before all of them!!!" She cries helplessly and is led away.  
  
Someone is singing softly, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ…"  
  
There is some quiet until the flying lessons.  
  
Madam Hooch selfconsciously patted at her hair, "Does it stick up like that?" she whispered desperately to McGonagall.  
  
"Of course, dear," McGonagall replied absently.  
  
Neville refused to watch it, "No! I never ever ever want to see that happen to me…again…un, never mind." He averted his eyes.  
  
"Hey, Neville!," someone yelled, "That's awesome! Hanging from the statue! Cool!"  
  
Neville peeked, "But-but that never happ-…er- yeah! Me, hanging from a statue! Yeah, I, mean, I had to be very brave."  
  
"I never knew Neville had it in him," Parvati whispered to Lavendar.  
  
~*~  
  
"WHAT???"   
  
"What's Malfoy's problem this time?" Ron hissed.  
  
They soon found out, "I don't fly like that! I am much more graceful. They make Potter look better!"  
  
"He IS better," said Ron just as Harry said, "I AM better."  
  
Luckily, Draco was too busy complaining to hear them.  
  
The movie continued…  
  
  
A/N: I AM NOT trying to totally make fun of the movie. I did like it, but I think they did some weird things. For the most part it was cool.  
  
Alright, it's a little dumb, so sue me. Wait, don't. Review if you want me to continue.  
  
Liz  



	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: All the characters are J.K. Rowlings and all of the movie stuff is Warner Brothers *grrr* I make no claim to anything, but my er- observations…

NOTE: Anyways, here is more! Everyone seems to really want it! I have TOTALLY forgotten which order the movie went in!!! Please forgive me!!! I saw it the first day it came out and that was-er a while ago… I have tried to remember the "best" parts though!**  
  
***Grumbles* _If they just stuck to the book this wouldn't be so hard..._**  
  
Harry Potter and the Movie   
By Liz  
  
Chapter Two  
  
**...and the movie continues...  
  
The Slytherins laughed, because they felt it was their duty more than anything else, as Harry was marched into the school with Professor McGonagall after being caught flying his broom.  
  
The room then erupted into sighs, whistles, and other appreciative noises as Oliver Wood came onto the screen. Every single girl in Hogwarts that had eyes drooled over him.  
  
"If only Oliver really looked like that," Oliver's girlfriend said dreamily. Suddenly she was aware of a presence next to her. She giggled nervously, "Just kidding, dear. Just kidding!"  
  
  


Finally it was time for the first Quidditch game...  
  
"WHAT?!?!"   
  
"And just **WHAT **can he be complaining about _this_ time?! He wasn't even ON the Quidditch team first year!" Hermione scoffed.  
  
Draco was trembling with anger, "G-G-GIRLS!!!" he stuttered.  
  
"Malfoy sounds like Quirrel, huh Harry?" Ron asked excitedly.  
  
"G-Girls!!! O-On the Slytherin Qu-Quidditch team!!!" he stormed about the room, "What wrongness!!! Obscurity!!! Blasphemy!!!"  
  
"Blasphemy?" Harry raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I reckon he's gone nuts, Harry," said Ron delightedly.  
  
"Look at their Quidditch team!" Fred hissed, "Did you see Flint's teeth?!"  
  
"I wish I hadn't," George answered, "I'll be having nightmares for months. Just looking at him puts me on edge."  
  
Flint's eyes narrowed suspiciously, but his brain didn't seem to process what he was hearing fast enough.  
  
Wood kept covering his eyes and moaning, "I can't watch it!" he peeked through his fingers, "I heard that I get hit! I can't bear to watch it!"  
  
"No problem, Oliver old pal," George assured him, "It's all over."  
  
Sighing in relief, Oliver opened his eyes.  
  
"NOOO!!!"  
  
"Oops," George commented, "My bad, Oliver."  
  
"That wasn't so bad," Harry told Ron and Hermione, "I'm surprised that the Quidditch looked so good."  
  
Ron nodded, "Well, they were bound to do _something_ right eventually..."

"Let's enjoy it while it lasts…"

It, er- lasted- er a bit…

They had to shake Harry awake when Norbert started to hatch.

"Wh-wh?" Ron smacked him.

"Wake up! Norbert's hatching!"

Harry rubbed his eyes, "That's pretty much how it happened…although Norbert looked like a crumpled black umbrella…didn't he?"

Hermione shook her head, "They've corrupted Norbert…"

"Now that git is going to poke his head in!"

Draco heard that, "I'M NOT 'THAT GIT', WEASLEY!!!"

"Sure you aren't," Ron muttered, "You're that animal." He made a mock bow, "Excuse me, your ferretness!"

Draco was about to leap on Ron, but reconsidered.

"Sick him!" Crabbe and Goyle advanced purposefully on the trio.

"Look!" Hermione yelled suddenly, "You're on the movie!!!"

Crabbe and Goyle swivled stupidly to stare at the screen and were promptly knocked out.

Draco was in another of his trademark huffs. At least he was quiet(er) this time.

"This is SOOO insulting! I didn't even GET anything for finding the dragon and ferreting out Hagrid's evil scheme!"

*Snort!*

"He said ferreting!!! Hehe!"

"Yeah! At least that's one thing we can agree on! He can "ferret" things out, all right…seeing as he IS a ferret!" 

"An amazing, bouncing ferret!"

Draco was turning many colors. None of them did anything for him. 

"What IS Malfoy complaining about?" Ron hissed to Harry and Hermione, "He DIDN'T get anything for turning us in…unless you count the detention!"

"Guys!" Hermione kicked them, "Look! We got a detention for THIS instead of being in the north tower giving Norbert away! Look! Ron's coming with us!"

"Where?" Ron asked.

"To the Forbidden Forest, you idiot," Hermione said unkindly, "Now shut up! This is good!"

"Feel free to make all the noise that you want to, Ron," Harry countered, "I have no particular inclination to relive this…"

"Is it over yet?" 

"No." Ron said.

"Yes."

"Maybe."

"Shut up, Fred and George!"

Draco was carefully not looking at the screen. If he didn't SEE himself run away, screaming like a girl, maybe it never even happened…

And the movie continued…

Alright! That's enough for now! There will be more and it will probably be the last segment. If you have ideas, send them to me…may be I'll do a "missed parts" thingie at the last chapter so I can er- "analyze" the things that I missed…

And, dang! All the reviews! I never expected THAT many! Thanks, guys and gals!

Review!

Liz

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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